I stood up to stretch my legs and wandered outside. It was then that a little voice in my head said, ‘You’re on holiday. You haven’t smoked for three months and one won’t hurt Go on, you deserve it.’ I remember feeling a bit bored and restless but certainly not craving for a cigarette. For the last twelve years I would usually have filled up that moment of nothingness with a cigarette. Perhaps it was only natural that my head filled in the blanks and like an idiot (I can now state in retrospect) I succumbed to the notion and bought a packet of ten.

The transition from not smoking back to smoking was incredibly easy. The first puff spun my head so much I almost lost balance. The cigarette tasted ghastly but for some strange reason I wanted to smoke more, thinking the strangest of thoughts that, in order to appreciate the pleasure of smoking once again, I would get used to it. I took another puff and then another. It was only after I had finished that one cigarette that I considered seriously the consequences of what I had just done.

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