...These [cynics] are the wizened souls with the above average intelligence, singed egos and “up yours” attitudes that balance out the world of fools, the world of rubes and simpletons who fall for the Nigerian “20 Million Dollar Currency Exchange” spams and the 100% medically proven penis pumps. Cynics are, essentially, frustrated idealists who have come face to face with the dishonest, hateful, cruel, greedy and/or criminal assholes of the world and found them wanting. The cynic is usually the last one to realize that his or her view of the universe has become, shall we say, tart, because for the individual the process seems to be a logical, linear progression. It usually starts some time around puberty, when one’s natural rebelliousness begins to manifest itself anyway with such heartfelt statements as, “It’s my life and I’ll do what I want to!” To which one’s parents respond, “No you won’t, either. Now mow the goddamn lawn.” From there it’s a straight line to Cynicville.

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